BDSM play arises emotions to both the dominant and the submissive party. But the latter, due to those emotions and the hormones their body releases during a session, can experience what’s called “subspace”. It’s very important that everyone who engages in this kind of play knows about it. Because, otherwise, a session can get confusing, frustrating and even dangerous, especially for the sub. In this article, I will tell you what is subspace and how to deal with it.
What is subspace?
Subspace is a mental state a submissive enters during a BDSM session (when its intensity is high enough for them to experience it), in which they feel like they are “high”, “floating”, “dreaming”. It’s caused by the hormones the body releases due to the intensity of the session. Some of those hormones are dopamine, endorphins and adrenaline, among others.
This “high” can lead to the sub feeling confused, having trouble reasoning and speaking, losing coordination and having a higher pain tolerance. And, the latter, could cause the session to get dangerous; a submissive that feels they can tolerate a lot of pain might ask the dominant to do things they can’t actually take. And, if the dominant isn’t aware of the situation and satisfies the sub’s demands, the session will turn into a bad experience. That’s why the dominant (and the submissive, actually) should always know how to deal with subspace. I will talk about that later on.
Subspace is a state in which the sub also gets flooded by an intense feeling of happiness and feels euphoric. In which their mind is only focused on that moment and on living it to the fullest, and nothing else. Entering and experiencing subspace whilst being dominated makes the whole experience more fun, intense and pleasurable overall, in the vast majority of the cases.
How to deal with subspace?
To keep things safe, it’s key that everyone who is in the BDSM scene and engages in kinky play knows how to deal with subspace.
As the dominant
- Don’t do anything your sub hasn’t consented to before starting the session. Even if they ask you to do it.
- Don’t leave your sub alone when they are in subspace.
- Don’t let the sub take any decision regarding a practice that might be dangerous.
- Pay attention to your sub in order to identify any symptom that might mean play time should be paused.
As the submissive
- Make sure you trust the dom you are playing with.
- If you enter subspace and don’t feel good, let your dom know as soon as possible.